His name for ABC purposes is Butros Gall(i) (not related to Borat or Inspector Clousseau).
His mission - unknown.
His modus operandi - unorthodox.
His nationally - proudly South African.
He has promised a weekly pearl of shait.
Here goes - Week 1 :
A new fad has penetrated the SA market. No, neither ding-bat nor yo-yo is back in fashion, this fad is far more subtle.
Let me sketch the scene: A Sunday afternoon braai, luxury cars litter the driveway, plastic people in designer clothes, drinking Heineken and dry white wine circle the Weber. The grid is sizzling to the tune of sumptious steaks, the perfect moment for a young executive, cradling his even younger remodelled wife to announce, with a victorious smirk on his face and in a gloating tone of voice, "we are making ready to emmigrate to Oz"
It is at this point that i become visibly ill realising that what will follow is a tirade of hysterical banter about the sorry state of affairs in SA.
Please dont misunderstand me. I am all too aware of the numerous challenges that face our beautiful country and understand fully why many South Africans have opted to leave our shores but to deliberalely torpedo a traditional SA braai where all talk should centre around horseracing, rugby, soccer, cricket and buxom SA lasses, is nothing short of sacraligious !!!
No, my head is not buried in the patriotic sand of SA but to use the braai, the brrraaaii, as a platform to echo negative upon negative sentiment cannot be sanctioned.
Ag please "okes", if you have chosen to leave, it's ok, really it is. But please, embrace your decision wholeheartedly and embark on your journey quietly and (in most cases im sure) with a sense of regret and loss. It would also be "lekker" that instead of feeling sorry for us, pray that our efforts back home are met with unprecedented success and that SA is elevated back to its rightful status as "miracle rainbow nation"
In your absence, I assure you that I will face each day with a smile and, who knows, maybe, just maybe, one day you will re-pack your bags and embark on a journey away from the Kangaroos, Sheep and Sheilas to a country of Springboks, Proteas, Castle Lager, Pocket Power and Boerewors.
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