Hell on Earth thru Gall(i)'s eye

Our resident psycho is back with his weekly drivel and tripe.

This week he explores Hell on Earth.

Gall(i) :

"Whilst my first contribution received a fair number of hits, no posts were forthcoming.
I have painstakingly reflected on this and come to the following conclusion; we've all been braai-ing or packing furiously for the past week.

On a lighter note, i've decided to present my impression of what Hell on Earth is.

Imagine yourself confined to a sauna, attired in a 3-piece suit with one of the following, appropriately selected companions:

SAUNA 1.

Reserved for all degenerate aids activists, who'll be forced into the sauna labelled, 'Dr. Manto', who, whilst preaching the benefits of alternative medication, will intermittently pop into the mouths of the hapless victims an endless supply of beetroot and garlic.

SAUNA 2.

Reserved for the die-hard Liverpool fanatics who'll be subjected to the torturous and incomprehensible mutterings and tauntings of none other than Sir Alex Ferguson gloating about the glory years of Manchester United.

SAUNA 3.

Reserved for the greedy punter who'll be strapped onto a saddle, hands bound and wearing blinkers forcing the would-be pick 6 winner to stare infinitely into the eyes and teeth of a broad-smiling Terry Paine for the rest of their lives, as he reflects on warming the bench throughout the 1966 World Cup.

SAUNA 4.

Reserved for the gay member of our community who will be confined to the sauna labelled, 'Sizzling Penthouse Pet' for the rest of his happy days. He will have to enjoy the company of a scantily clad, voluptuous, buxom vixen. Poor bastard !!

SAUNA 5.

To be occupied by the former ex-Rhodesian patriot who will for the rest of his life listen to the unprecedented successes of Zimbabwe since the fall of the Ian Smith regime, as compiled and narrated by the one and only Bob Mugabe.

SAUNA 6.

Reserved for the baby-boomer generation members, lovers of Bob Dylan, Crosby,Stills,Nash and Young and the like, who with top of the range ear phones, will share the heat with the screeching Celine Dion belting forth 'My heart will go on and on and.....'

SAUNA 7.

Sees the ignorant Manchester United supporter sweating in his 3-piece suit in the company of a red juke box sponsored by Carlsberg, repeatedly pouring forth, 'you'll never walk alone'.

SAUNA 8.

Reserved for all ex-National Party loyalists who continue to advocate the pros and cons of the Apartheid era, whose lot it will be to share a sauna with 'Kortbroek' van Schalkwyk, appropriately clad in khaki shorts and shirt, veldskoens and wearing a yellow cap enscribed, "ek is a trots boere ANC Lid". To irk the loyalist even more, Kortbroek will on occassion toy, toy for a lengthly period of time.

SAUNA 9.

Singles out the the hot-blooded hetero-sexual macho, who for his indiscretions, will be forced to watch Martina Navratilova, clad in a tight white tennis outfit with matching frilly underwear, juggle two tennis balls to the tune of, "Oh Danny boy."

SAUNA 10.

Reserved for the hapless clansmen and women, whose sole source of communication outside and within the sauna, will be the shait, doctrines of none other than Gall(i). To lighten their burden they will be granted a monthly visit from the world leader of bull-shait, George W. Bush, without his White House notes.

If you can conjure up any more frightening scenarios, feel free to share your sauna horror with us."

This is brilliant...

thanks gall(i)

The giant potholes in the roads of Knysna Town are a menace. The municpaility approves another big development and then digs up the road to get the services in. One evening some local hooligans have moved the cones and netting guarding a huge crater on main road. I drive my car straight into the crater the next day. I will be off work for weeks, no salary, no medical aid, the only hope I have is an attorney will be taking up my case with the aim of securing a huge payout from the Road Accident Fund. I have not been told his identity, he doesn't know of mine, we have so much riding on one man of law helping us.

I have been told to meet him in Sauna 11, I arrive early, he is on time, the door opens, in he walks........
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>
.>




Oh fcuk.....!!!!

Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the sauna !

The bad news is our resident psycho will be spewing forth his weekly drivel later on this afternoon.
The good news is that he has been going for counselling.

NUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!