Sir Paul vs Heather

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.



News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"



"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"



After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.



It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.



Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".



Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"



Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.



A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"



· Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:



I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river



And



She Stood on the bridge at Midnight

Her lips were all a quiver

She gave a cough, her leg fell off

And floated down the river.



These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe

lol

excellent

I had heard that she also wanted a plane, but she was told just to use shaving cream and a blade?

Classic, Shit happens !

Shit happens..that is disgusting and spiteful..if you think that that is funny then more pity on you..are you not all men? Are you not intelligent enough to see through other peoples misfortune..Shame on all of you who take the piss with her.

chilli are you serious


she clearly done one over on him. The media in the uk out of respect fcor Sir Paul they held back on all the stories about prostituting/porn shows and other stuff that as an 18 year old i found appealing but now find repulsive.

I reckon Sir Paul (the beatles) and the Queen contribute 3% of the national gdp and he is a national treasure hence when she showed she was mental and was leaving him the press went to town.

And the judge saw this however she still managed to squeeze 25 odd mil from him and another 37k a year for their child.

I reckon contact should be made with social services and they should be visiting this crazy woman anytime she is alone with the child.

Chilli chill mate - its just a joke.

I'm sure their are some Paul Mcartney jokes around.

chillis become very bitter since the legs have come off his beloved arsenil

Easy..its got nothing to do with how much money she got..its got to do with taking the piss with someone elses misfortune..next time you see a disabled person, be they 5 or 50 go and tell them a joke about their predicament and see if they laugh.

So then having a wooden leg is not a handicap in your eyes?

Chilli you right mate.

I apologise. We shouldn't have a laugh at someone else's misery.

Mori...chill!